Two of the last three title entries in this weblog have involved wordplay. I promise this will stop real soon. Ok, so, this Sunday night, during the Saints victory over the New York Giants, the Saints' wide receiver Joe Horn scored his second touchdown of the game, and then was handed a cell-phone that he'd hidden in the goal post prior to the game. He then mock called his family on the phone in the endzone and pretended to talk to them about the play. This act, and others like it (Terrell Owens started this whole "wide receiver as prop comic"* thing when he pulled a Sharpie out of his sock after catching a touchdown pass, then proceeded to sign the football in the end zone) are catching fire in the NFL, and fans are up-set. Very very upset. I, for one, love it. What's more fun than finding out what innovative new celebration a wide receiver might come up with upon scoring a particularly flashy touchdown? Don't soccer players the world over do all sorts of nutty things when they score? Some of those soccer celebrations, by the way, are super dorky....the brazilians rocking a baby in the cradle when they scored in the 1994 world cup, that stupid caterpillar thing they sometimes do....dorky).
What's the matter with people that they think these end zone celebrations "taint" the game? How does a fun new "watch THIS one" celebration do anything except make the game more fun? Many of the nay-sayers will quote the cat in the hat (the original, not the sucky mike myers version, which, by the way, looks to me more like a batman villian than the cat in the hat) and say "it's fun to have fun, but you have to know how". To this, i say.....let's see....to this i say....well, i don't say anything. i say "shut up", ok, that's what I say.
I can envision all sorts of cool new celebrations upon scoring a touchdown in this never-ending game of one-upsmanship, that i would like to see.... Here are some cool possibilities:
1) Have Yo Yo Ma waiting on the sidelines who comes running out onto the field with you carrying his cello, and he plays the chorus to leonard cohen's "Hallelujah" or "Ave Maria", while the scorer sings.
2) Pull a shovel out of the goal post hidden there before the game and proceed to bury the football in the end zone.
3) Pull a jet pack out of the goal post and fly out of the stadium saluting the fans as you leave. (this one's hard if you're also supposed to be on kick off coverage on the next play)
4) Call your girlfriend and ask her to marry you in the end zone.
5) Get the PA system guy to hook up the system to a cell-phone hidden in the goal post, and after you score, pick up the phone, call charles schwab, and say over the phone (and PA system) "time to IPO, baby!"
6) If you're the visiting football team, hide a "century 21 under contract" sign in the goal post before the game, and when you score, pull it out and plant it in the end zone.
this is fun. i could go on and on. i'm all for this innovation in football and i would watch many more games if this were to really catch on.
meanwhile, mobile operators, one of you needs to get joe horn signed to an endorsement deal so he always uses your phones.
Also, is there always cool stuff stored in the goal posts? When Horn scored, he couldn't even find the thing, leading me to believe that he actually stored it in there weeks ago with a bunch of other junk and forgot where he put it.
*with apologies to my friend scott who originally gave me the line "these guys are all prop comics now"...that's funny.
Posted by Dick at December 16, 2003 02:55 PM | TrackBack