For many years, yucksters everywhere have left equations rotting in the comedy boneyard, afraid that any introduction of "math' into an otherwise humorous repartee could bring forth the crickets and the darkness. What a mistake; equations can be hilarious and their infrequent use in recent years means you'll be all the more funny when you trot them out during cocktail parties and conference calls alike.
Examples: Not funny: "I'm leaving this meeting now". Funny: "I'm leaving this meeting in about T Minus None Minutes"
Bonus: People often ask me, "Dick, is it ok to swear at work, and if so, is it funny?", and I can only respond, "You bet!", but you have to know what you're doing. Vulgarity in the workplace straddles that delicate line between "fired for cause" and "employee of the year", and it takes a maestro to know when to strike. I mention this during the discussion of equations, however, because you can almost always get away with vulgarity inside an equation! Even in the most tension filled meetings with superiors, swearing within an equation is sure to break the icy chill in the room and have them rolling in the aisles.
Examples:
Tragic:
"Costolo, what are our chances of winning this deal?"
"I don't think they're very good, Sir, our product doesn't work"
"I'm disappointed in you, Costolo"
"Crap"
"Crap? We don't speak that way here, Costolo, collect your things and get out"
Funny:
"Costolo, what are our chances of winning this deal?"
"I'd say our chances are three over the square root of fuckall, sir"
"fuckall? HOHOHO, that's good stuff, Costolo. Johnson, why can't you be more like Costolo?"
Johnson: "Crap"
"We don't speak that way here, Johnson, collect your things and get out"