802.11me

John Kerry, Dork

How can you spend as much money as John Kerry has spent on his presidential campaign and be as far behind as he is? That is really lame. When you're getting beat by carol-moseley-braun (CMB), it's time to admit that you suck. Really, that is pathetic. You could raise more money at a bake sale than CMB's got in the bank, and she's ahead of him in some new hampshire polls. How in God's name did this happen? He should change his name to "Not Howard Dean" and that might get him some headlines and accidental votes from people who think they can choose "the rest of the field" against dean at the ballot box....you know, like in horse racing...."i want to vote for not that guy". Right now, he and that john edwards fellah (is his name john too? i think it is, god these guys are hard to tell apart) are just about as non-descript as you could get. They're vanilla and strawberry at the Baskin-Robbins store that is the primaries, and nobody wants vanilla in the primaries. they want almond mocha crunch. Actually, i'd like to have some almond mocha crunch right now...is that even a flavor? it sounds delicious. Anyway, The two johns need to change their names.

I love how John Kerry tried to kick-start his campaign by saying "fuck" last week. That's hilarious. yeah, that was a good move. who's brilliant idea was that? how late at night were you guys sitting around the table before somebody suggested "what if we have him say 'fuck'?". He actually said to some reporter "Bush fucked-up post-war iraq", and then, in typical Just-my-luck fashion, the military busts-out a saddam capture the week after. John Kerry, it's time to bail out of the election and go hang out at the multi-plex with the rest of the Lord of the Rings dorks. I'm sure somebody can spare a Gimli costume for you. CMB sends her regards from farther up in the polls.