I have an idea.
My daughter got back from a birthday party the other day, and she announced that she'd gone to see Scooby Doo 2. I thought that was just about the dumbest idea for a movie I'd heard in a long time, until I found out a couple days later that Scooby Doo 2 grossed about 30 million scooby snacks its opening week. Clearly, no idea is too stupid to work in Hollywood, and wiith that in mind, I would like to propose a new genre of film, in which we abandon the boring sequels and prequels, and begin to mix together the characters from two previous and wildly different films, much like those new HBO ads where all the characters from different shows are mixed together. Here are my first few pitch outlines:
Scarface and The Chocolate Factory:
Cuban immigrant Tony Montana dreams of making the finest chocolates for the Children of Miami, but the fucking Oompah Loompahs are moving in on him, and Tony has started using his own chocolate. The sugar buzz is freaking him out, and he's getting delusional. Can little Charlie Diaz pull Tony back together? or will it be an all out street war for control of Miami's chocolate supply?
Silver Eldorado
Kevin Kline, Kevin Costner, Ice Cube, and Cedric the Entertainer ride west to open a barbership in this comedy western. The Kevin's Kline and Costner enter a time portal in the town of Silverado 1880, and are transported to present day Las Vegas, where they meet Messrs. Cube and Entertainer. Hilarity ensues as Costner and Kline make all manner of inappropriately outdated racial jokes, finally taking the heat off of Ice Cube's ass.
Lord of the Alamo
Davy Crocket, Sam Houston, and a rag tag group of Texans battle Saruman and the Dark Lord of Mordor for control of a tiny san antonio adobe structure. This one pretty much writes itself.
Who's with me on this? Don't these sound fun? I would easily shell out 9 bucks for any of these before I trek out to Scooby Doo 2.